Hoping To Be Surprised

I love to be surprised...if it's a good surprise that is.  If it means my sister showing up at my door from a state away, or a night out planned by my husband, who doesn't love that?  One time I had a friend schedule a house cleaner to come and clean my house before I hosted my husband's 40th birthday celebration.  Just dreamy!

In my opinion, a good surprise comes from those who really get you.  Those people that know concert tickets aren't your thing, but Broadway tickets would be on point.  Friends that can surprise you with a piece for your wall and it fits in perfectly with your "taste".

I've come to learn good surprises make me feel not only loved, but also known.

We're currently praying to be surprised at our house.

School started this last week and it's felt kind of rough for my 13 year old.  One day before classes started, she found out she had been put in a class separate from all of her friends but one.

Middle school is just plain hard.  You couldn't pay me enough to relive those years.  The inner turmoil, the drama, the tears, the questioning, the longings.  I'm convinced it's even harder with the addition of social media.

What?  So and so is hanging out with her BFF?  I thought I was her BFF!  Besides, she said she couldn't hang out tonight.  Evidently she can, because she is!  Just not with me!  (These are the conversations we try to navigate through at this age.)

Anyways, all that to say Middle School is hard enough when you're with your friends.  It's doubly brutal when you've been separated from them, while they're all still together.  And so, to say the year ahead feels doomed might sound over dramatic, but at 13 this is how we communicate.

As a mom it's hard to see your kiddos struggle.  I admit to being a "fixer".  I fix to avoid pain, I fix to avoid conflict, I fix to avoid being uncomfortable.  Nothing brings out the fixer in me more than when my kids are hurting.

But I know better...at least I'm learning to know better.  Fixing is rarely the best solution.  It's no secret that most often it is the hard in life that molds us over the easy.  In the hard we're challenged to make a choice.  What will we choose to focus on?  In the hard our belief system is tested.  We say we trust God, but do we really?  In the hard we either become victims or overcomers.

Every person wants to be known as someone who sees the good, who trusts always and who overcomes.  But in order to be known as this type of person, we actually have to walk through the hard and choose.  Choose joy even when we don't know the outcome.  Aaaggghh!!!!  This is so much easier said than done.

As I'm preaching this to my daughter, I'm really speaking it to myself.  Because inside I'm throwing my own fit.  I'm ticked that this is the way our year has to start off.  I'm sick for my daughter who has worked hard to find her place only to now feel displaced.  I don't feel like we deserved this.

But Lord knows no one does.  I'm learning to recognize that circumstances like this have nothing to do with whether we deserve them or not.  But they have everything to do with molding us into the one we have been created to be.  It sounds beautiful in theory, but it's super hard in real life...especially when it's your child that's being molded.

Since fixing is out of the question, I've had to process what it looks like to walk alongside my daughter in this.  The tightrope I'm walking between being empathetic while still calling my 13 year old to something higher is a thin one.  Most days I feel at a loss.

The one prayer I keep coming back to is "Surprise us Lord!"  I have asked my daughter to commit to keeping her eyes open for ways the Father might choose to surprises her.  I figure no one knows her better than her Creator, so who better to know ways to speak love to her through the unexpected?

So, last night I asked my daughter if she had seen any evidence of the Father's hand at work and she gave me an adamant, "no".  Ugh!  How crazy is it that with that one answer I'm ready to bail on praying?  Oh ye of little faith!

The thing about surprises is that you never know when they're coming.  The not knowing in this situation just might be killing me slowly...I didn't say it was, I said it might be.  Obviously my daughter is not the only one being molded here.

I want to be committed to this prayer on my daughter's behalf.  At this point the surprise may just be  making it through the year with minimal tears...right now we'll take that.  But I'm boldly praying for more.

I want nothing more than for my daughter to experience her Father at work in her life.  I want her to be able to look back and give testimony to the way He was faithful.  I fully understand that this may not look the way we might hope, but I also trust that the Great Creator loves and knows my daughter more deeply than anyone.  Any gift He gives will be good.

Matthew 7:11 says, "So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him."  

So I'm asking...

I'm asking for my daughter to be molded, I'm asking that she might have eyes to see the good, I'm asking for her heart to be strong.  And I will be hopeful on her behalf that her heavenly Father will find a way to surprise her in all this.

To My Girls -- My prayer is that in the hard of life you will choose to trust, choose to believe, and choose to find joy.  It will rarely be easy, but it will bring life.  May you find hope as you walk through these seasons in knowing that your heavenly Father is at work, always molding you to look more like Jesus.  Don't run from these situations, instead ask the Father to show you what He wants you to know.  And always remember that God is good.  He is loving and gracious.  He is faithful and always walking alongside of you.  Hard is not bad, hard is not something that is being done to you, hard is simply a way for us to press more deeply into the loving relationship we have with our Creator. 

40th Birthday Wish Come True...

One year ago I invited my family to a birthday celebration.  A birthday celebration that would take place this summer.  As I saw my 40th approaching, I knew I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity and make it one to remember.

So, last July I invited my entire family (both parents, a step-father, four siblings and all of their kiddos = 27 people total, not counting my own family and not counting the one on the way!) to join me this August in climbing a 14'er.

I gave everyone one year's notice so that schedules could be made, bodies could be prepared, and I could enjoy the anticipation for a full 365+ days!  And I have done just that. 

This spring the preparations really began at our house as the girls helped me sew bunting for the front of the house, organize bedrooms, and I began shopping the sales as I planned out our menu. 

Knowing there would be a total of 33 people in my house for an extended weekend made me giddy.  These are my people after all.  Hosting them all at once was a HUGE part of my birthday wish.  And having a husband support me in my wild and crazy idea was an early birthday gift to me.

Once June arrived we kicked it into high gear.  Vaughn put up cafe lights around our back patio area.  This has been a dream of mine for a long time.  My guy really is amazing in how he does whatever he can to give me my heart's desire.

The girls and I found vintage sheets at Goodwill for our table cloths.  We borrowed patio furniture from good friends. We picked up flowers at the last minute.  It was Friday and it was time for everyone to arrive.

That first night, we ate dinner, we laughed, we caught up, we enjoyed the amazing Colorado evening.  And then we began packing for our big hike the next morning.

Knowing that we were getting up at 3:15 a.m. and pulling out at 4:00, we made our lunches and packed our backpacks the night before. 23 of the 33 were climbing.  Grandma Barb and Papa Clay agreed to stay home with the littles.

Morning came quickly.  The drive to the trail head took us about an hour and a half.  The day promised to be a beautiful one.

My ninja sister in law lost 25 pounds in order to not miss out on the big day.  I couldn't be more proud of this girl!

As the sun was rising, we began to climb...

To say this hike was a challenge would be like saying Peyton Manning is a decent quarterback.  As my family members fought to conquer this mountain, my heart swelled as I witness various nieces and nephews urging each other on, Dads carrying kiddos at times, wives encouraging cousins, brother in laws coaching sister in laws.  This family came together and battled to get each person to the top.  And every single one of us made it!

My dad made it with a heart that functions at only 30%.

My nephew was the youngest to climb at the age of 7.  He promptly fell asleep seconds after summiting.

We ate lunch at the top and most of the group began the descent down.  Several of us, though, decided to tackle Torreys which is connected to Grays by a ridge.  One hour later, we summited our second peak.

And then we began our climb down....which always feels eternal!

I am thrilled and relieved to say everyone made it down safely and in one piece.  Sometimes going down can be as much of a battle as going up.  But again, this family pulled together and made it to the bottom.

We spent the rest of the evening relaxing, eating barbecue, and rehashing the events of the day.  I was thankful each family member was still speaking to me, ha!  It had been a brutal day for some, but the sweetness of victory made it worth it....even if a few have sworn they will never step foot on a 14'er again.

Sunday morning we slept in.  At 10:00 we enjoyed brunch together.  Aisha and Zaylee were in charge of the pancakes.  They did awesome!

After we ate, we gathered together, worshiped and shared ways we saw Jesus at work in our lives.  Again, my heart was full, soaking in each moment.

That afternoon we headed to the stream.  It's always been hard to keep this family away from the water, and this day was no different. 

And of course a group game was created by Uncle Micah.

Nights often found us sitting out back, under the lights, visiting, eating, playing ball and almost always laughing.

Monday morning the guys and some of the kids headed out early to watch Broncos training camp.

Not everyone is a fan...

Meanwhile back home, some of the kiddos put together a little performance for the moms...doing the "Whip".

That afternoon the adults headed out for a little walk.

Our last evening together was spent making s'mores.  The adults hung out in the back and the kiddos watched "Evan Almighty" on Vaughn's homemade big screen made out of sheetrock.

 

Vaughn surprised me by having everyone write notes of affirmation and encouragement to me throughout the weekend.  He then had them hanging up so I could read them whenever I wanted. This whole little surprise, I found out, required a trip to Hobby Lobby by my man. And that, people, is a true act of love at our house.

 Packing up always makes me emotional.  Saying goodbye sucks.

But on this Tuesday morning my tears were more happy tears than they were sad.  As we circled up to pray one more time before everyone left, I was overwhelmed.  The love I have for this crew,  the joy I experienced while having them in my home, I am humbled and amazed at how fortunate I am to call them mine.

My birthday wish had come true, and it far exceeded my expectations.  I will treasure the memories of this time forever. 

I know I never could've pulled this off without Vaughn's full support.  This guy really is amazing.  He knows me better than anyone, and he knew from the minute this idea was conceived how important it was to me.  I love him more than words can say!

To My Man -- Thank you.  Thank you a million times over!  Thank you for knowing me and loving me enough to help me pull this off.  Thank you for the cafe lights, and for picking up patio furniture.  Thank you for leading our family in worship and for planning a morning out with the guys.  Thank you for telling me in advance that once everyone was here, you'd be ready and willing to do whatever I needed you to do, to go pick up whatever I needed picked up.  Thank you for getting the very last family members to the top of that mountain.
Thank you for all the ways you love me and the girls.  Thank you for making us laugh and fighting hard to choose joy.  Thank you for the way you lead our family spiritually.  You are the greatest gift I have ever been given.  I love doing life with you. 

To My Family -- Thank you.  Thank you for making this trip a priority.  Thank you for not rolling your eyes at me (at least not where I could see you) when you heard my idea.  Thank you for coming, for being fully present, for your kind words through each of your notes, and for all the laughter.  Watching you and your families love well and live the way of Jesus blesses me beyond words.  I love you all.

To My Girls -- Thank you.  Thank you for all the help and prep you put into hosting our family.  I love that your own hearts have been captured by the value and importance of these relationships.  My hope is that family will always be a priority for us.  As you grow older you'll realize that everyone does life a little differently, even within a family.  You will always have the choice to either focus on the differences, or choose to remember that no matter what, you're still family.  And that's the one thing that stays the same.  Family is worth fighting for, worth investing in, worth working through the differences to maintain.  Despite our own brokenness, God has blessed us with an amazing family, hasn't He?