The project took us a week. A week of 15 hour days. A week of sweat stained tank tops, sore muscles and lots of praying for no rain. During that week, I not only learned how much work it is to shingle a house, but I also learned a number of other things. It seemed only appropriate to document these lessons in a post that my girls will return to at another time.
This project was a family affair. The girls not only put in hours on the roof with us, but they were also put in charge of keeping all things running inside the house (i.e. making meals, cleaning and doing laundry). By the time the week was over, I can honestly say every family member felt a deep sense of accomplishment. There is a bonding that takes place when you take on a big project together. I want to do a better job of finding more of these opportunities in the future.
Lesson #2 -- When you're on the roof, you can't micromanage your children
Two days into this project I realized that I could not manage the inside workings of the house along with helping Vaughn on the roof. In a split second decision, I put Kyan in charge of menu planning and cooking. I assigned Aisha to some baking and told Tyah I would need her to be my driver. I also put all four girls in charge of cleaning.
Tyah took Kyan to the grocery store to do the shopping for the menu Kyan put together. Aisha dove into making no-bake cookies. And I slipped into the blissful state of putting my head in the sand as far as all things household went. During this time, teriyaki marinade boiled over, no bakes were made with Old Fashioned Oats instead of Quick Oats, and one child was inspired to learn how to do laundry. My house was also cleaned.
Long story short, my girls learned a number of things that they might've never learned had I been hovering over them making sure they did it right. Aisha will probably always remember to use Quick Oats from now on (not that it stopped us from eating the cookies she made). Kyan realized how much work it is to make dinner every night. She has a new appreciation for those that make dinner and new realization that she doesn't love cooking. I learned that what I don't know won't kill me, and simply walking into a clean house is amazing! I don't have to know how it happened, with what cleaning products, or whether or not it was done exactly the way I would do it. Considering some of the control issues I have, I'm wondering if I should just excuse myself to the roof more often...would that be weird?
Lesson #3 -- Experiencing community never ceases to bless me
This is probably my favorite lesson of all.
Vaughn and I are huge believers in setting up our lives to live in community with other people. This happens in various ways and on different levels for us, but it runs deeply in our souls. Our hope and desire is to love people well, to see those living around us and to connect with them in whatever way we can. It's an act of obedience to the Way in which we're called to live, but it also rings true with living true life and life to the full. We experienced nothing less during our week on the roof.
I'm not gonna lie when I say that about 24 hours into the project I started praying. I started asking God to send someone to help us. I didn't tell Vaughn that I was praying this, but it was evident that as we started tearing off the asphalt shingles (which were the second layer of shingles under the shakes that were on top) Vaughn was carrying the majority of the burden. As hard as I worked and as strong as I wanted to be, fighting not only nails but also staples made my progress pretty slow.
Right about the time we started looking at each other with a bit of an overwhelmed feeling, Pete walked across the street asking if he could help. Pete is a 60 year old man who lives by himself. I believe he lost his wife a number of years ago, before we moved into the neighborhood. Pete keeps to himself for the most part, but Vaughn has always made a point to say hi or strike up a conversation with him when given the opportunity. I don't know that much about Pete, but I can tell you this. The man is a machine! As he joined us on the roof and began tearing through shingles like a bulldozer, I began to laugh to myself. Why was I so surprised? I had prayed for this, but quickly realized I didn't believe it would actually happen. Pete was a Godsend that day, literally. He gave us the boost we needed to keep going (and it's a good thing because we had just gotten started!). But the surprises didn't end with Pete.
By the evening of day 4 we had the roof cleared. I don't even want to talk about the hours put in pulling nails and staples. Who knew I could feel such emotion towards a clear, clean roof? It was now time to roll out the ice guard and tar paper, and it was important for us to get this done before the day was over. Just as we began the process, Mike and Bobbi popped up over the roof's edge.
Mike and Bobbi are our neighbors. Our relationship began before we even officially moved into the neighborhood as they struck up an initial conversation with Vaughn the first time he was over checking out our house. If there is such a thing as a love connection between neighbors, then you could say it was love at first sight. Mike and Bobbi quickly became dear friends as our families did life together in various ways throughout the years. We love Mike and Bobbi and they have loved us in so many ways. That evening, as the four of us rolled out tar paper, we visited and laughed and maybe had a few choice words for the one roll of ice guard we had to wrestle. We ended the day working by the light of our cell phone flashlights, finishing to the sound of thunder. We went to bed that night with full hearts, recognizing that we never would've been able to accomplish what we did that evening without our neighbors.
Community is a powerful thing. It connects people and gives the opportunity to serve and be served. It deepens relationships and opens our eyes to things we might not ever know. But it takes courage and vulnerability. I'm so thankful Pete had the boldness to come right over and dive into this project with us. I think it probably took some courage to approach us and ask if we wanted help. And when Mike and Bobbi showed up that evening, I'll admit that for a split second I felt bad that they felt the need to help us. There's a certain amount of vulnerability required to welcome others into our "projects". I will forever have fond memories of that evening we shared together, as it will always serve as an important reminder to me of not only the value of serving, but the value of being willing to be served as well! I'm beyond thankful my friends were willing to help me with this lesson.
Lesson #4 -- I love working with my man
I actually knew this before we got started, but the roof was just another reminder. I am blessed to be married to my best friend. Vaughn and I are essentially complete opposites. I'm an extrovert, he's an introvert. I'm a verbal processor, he's an internal processor. I'm quick to speak, at high volumes, with large arm gestures, and he is slow to speak, never dominating a conversation and always careful with his words. Despite our differences, though, there is no one else I'd rather be with.
I've learned a lot working alongside Vaughn. He's a hard worker and he likes to do things right. He doesn't cut corners and he takes his time. Most of all, he sees things through to the end.
The main thing I bring to the table with projects like this, is a strong competitive spirit and some serious positivity. My competitiveness kicks in and I find myself wanting to prove that I can work just as hard as any other guy. I'm fairly certain that when it came to the physical demands of this task, a guy could've been a smidge more helpful than I was, but I was determined to do everything I could to keep it to just a smidge. Lol! As far as the positivity goes, well let's just say that I would cheerlead my man through hell or high waters. Sometimes this is super helpful and other times I'm guessing it is simply the graciousness of my husband that nothing is said in return. I just can't help it, and he knows that, and luckily he loves that about me.
Our week on the roof was treasured time for me. I'm thankful to be doing life with someone who loves doing life together...despite the arm gestures.
To My Girls --We did it! You guys rocked at rising to the occasion and diving in as needed. Tyah, thanks for doing double duty as you worked with us and went to your real job everyday. Kyan, the meals were amazing and such a gift at the end of each day. Aisha, you have rightly earned the title "Laundry Queen" and I'm forever grateful! Aleah, as the youngest you pulled your weight inside the house and on the roof, and I'm so proud of you! I'm so thankful to get to do this life with you girls. My hope is that despite all the crazy of our family, you will always remember the value of working hard, working together and loving well. Sometimes we get it right and sometimes we miss the mark. Thankfully each morning is the promise of a new day and another chance.
