40th Birthday Wish Come True...

One year ago I invited my family to a birthday celebration.  A birthday celebration that would take place this summer.  As I saw my 40th approaching, I knew I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity and make it one to remember.

So, last July I invited my entire family (both parents, a step-father, four siblings and all of their kiddos = 27 people total, not counting my own family and not counting the one on the way!) to join me this August in climbing a 14'er.

I gave everyone one year's notice so that schedules could be made, bodies could be prepared, and I could enjoy the anticipation for a full 365+ days!  And I have done just that. 

This spring the preparations really began at our house as the girls helped me sew bunting for the front of the house, organize bedrooms, and I began shopping the sales as I planned out our menu. 

Knowing there would be a total of 33 people in my house for an extended weekend made me giddy.  These are my people after all.  Hosting them all at once was a HUGE part of my birthday wish.  And having a husband support me in my wild and crazy idea was an early birthday gift to me.

Once June arrived we kicked it into high gear.  Vaughn put up cafe lights around our back patio area.  This has been a dream of mine for a long time.  My guy really is amazing in how he does whatever he can to give me my heart's desire.

The girls and I found vintage sheets at Goodwill for our table cloths.  We borrowed patio furniture from good friends. We picked up flowers at the last minute.  It was Friday and it was time for everyone to arrive.

That first night, we ate dinner, we laughed, we caught up, we enjoyed the amazing Colorado evening.  And then we began packing for our big hike the next morning.

Knowing that we were getting up at 3:15 a.m. and pulling out at 4:00, we made our lunches and packed our backpacks the night before. 23 of the 33 were climbing.  Grandma Barb and Papa Clay agreed to stay home with the littles.

Morning came quickly.  The drive to the trail head took us about an hour and a half.  The day promised to be a beautiful one.

My ninja sister in law lost 25 pounds in order to not miss out on the big day.  I couldn't be more proud of this girl!

As the sun was rising, we began to climb...

To say this hike was a challenge would be like saying Peyton Manning is a decent quarterback.  As my family members fought to conquer this mountain, my heart swelled as I witness various nieces and nephews urging each other on, Dads carrying kiddos at times, wives encouraging cousins, brother in laws coaching sister in laws.  This family came together and battled to get each person to the top.  And every single one of us made it!

My dad made it with a heart that functions at only 30%.

My nephew was the youngest to climb at the age of 7.  He promptly fell asleep seconds after summiting.

We ate lunch at the top and most of the group began the descent down.  Several of us, though, decided to tackle Torreys which is connected to Grays by a ridge.  One hour later, we summited our second peak.

And then we began our climb down....which always feels eternal!

I am thrilled and relieved to say everyone made it down safely and in one piece.  Sometimes going down can be as much of a battle as going up.  But again, this family pulled together and made it to the bottom.

We spent the rest of the evening relaxing, eating barbecue, and rehashing the events of the day.  I was thankful each family member was still speaking to me, ha!  It had been a brutal day for some, but the sweetness of victory made it worth it....even if a few have sworn they will never step foot on a 14'er again.

Sunday morning we slept in.  At 10:00 we enjoyed brunch together.  Aisha and Zaylee were in charge of the pancakes.  They did awesome!

After we ate, we gathered together, worshiped and shared ways we saw Jesus at work in our lives.  Again, my heart was full, soaking in each moment.

That afternoon we headed to the stream.  It's always been hard to keep this family away from the water, and this day was no different. 

And of course a group game was created by Uncle Micah.

Nights often found us sitting out back, under the lights, visiting, eating, playing ball and almost always laughing.

Monday morning the guys and some of the kids headed out early to watch Broncos training camp.

Not everyone is a fan...

Meanwhile back home, some of the kiddos put together a little performance for the moms...doing the "Whip".

That afternoon the adults headed out for a little walk.

Our last evening together was spent making s'mores.  The adults hung out in the back and the kiddos watched "Evan Almighty" on Vaughn's homemade big screen made out of sheetrock.

 

Vaughn surprised me by having everyone write notes of affirmation and encouragement to me throughout the weekend.  He then had them hanging up so I could read them whenever I wanted. This whole little surprise, I found out, required a trip to Hobby Lobby by my man. And that, people, is a true act of love at our house.

 Packing up always makes me emotional.  Saying goodbye sucks.

But on this Tuesday morning my tears were more happy tears than they were sad.  As we circled up to pray one more time before everyone left, I was overwhelmed.  The love I have for this crew,  the joy I experienced while having them in my home, I am humbled and amazed at how fortunate I am to call them mine.

My birthday wish had come true, and it far exceeded my expectations.  I will treasure the memories of this time forever. 

I know I never could've pulled this off without Vaughn's full support.  This guy really is amazing.  He knows me better than anyone, and he knew from the minute this idea was conceived how important it was to me.  I love him more than words can say!

To My Man -- Thank you.  Thank you a million times over!  Thank you for knowing me and loving me enough to help me pull this off.  Thank you for the cafe lights, and for picking up patio furniture.  Thank you for leading our family in worship and for planning a morning out with the guys.  Thank you for telling me in advance that once everyone was here, you'd be ready and willing to do whatever I needed you to do, to go pick up whatever I needed picked up.  Thank you for getting the very last family members to the top of that mountain.
Thank you for all the ways you love me and the girls.  Thank you for making us laugh and fighting hard to choose joy.  Thank you for the way you lead our family spiritually.  You are the greatest gift I have ever been given.  I love doing life with you. 

To My Family -- Thank you.  Thank you for making this trip a priority.  Thank you for not rolling your eyes at me (at least not where I could see you) when you heard my idea.  Thank you for coming, for being fully present, for your kind words through each of your notes, and for all the laughter.  Watching you and your families love well and live the way of Jesus blesses me beyond words.  I love you all.

To My Girls -- Thank you.  Thank you for all the help and prep you put into hosting our family.  I love that your own hearts have been captured by the value and importance of these relationships.  My hope is that family will always be a priority for us.  As you grow older you'll realize that everyone does life a little differently, even within a family.  You will always have the choice to either focus on the differences, or choose to remember that no matter what, you're still family.  And that's the one thing that stays the same.  Family is worth fighting for, worth investing in, worth working through the differences to maintain.  Despite our own brokenness, God has blessed us with an amazing family, hasn't He?

Conversations...(Part 3)

I like to think of myself as a fun person.  I love to laugh.  I love to be crazy.  I love having a good time.  However, when I picture myself in this way, I immediately see myself with my husband, with my sister or with my close friends.

I'm sad to say that I don't necessarily see myself like this with my girls.  Don't get me wrong...we joke around and laugh plenty together.  But when I picture myself with them, most often I see myself in "teacher" mode.  I'm always trying to take hold of a teachable moment and use it for all its worth.  If a teachable moment were a wet rag, I'd wring that baby bone dry. 

I just want for my girls.  I want them to grasp the value of being kind and gracious.  I want them to learn to be responsible and aware.  I long for them to think ahead and make wise choices.  To be honest,  I'd love nothing more than to be able to impart to them all I've learned in my 39 years, keeping them from having to experience the pain, the hurt and the disappointment that comes from not knowing these things.  If they listened to me, and fully grasped what I was saying in these moments they could be so far ahead of the game!

But I know life doesn't work that way.  I know so much of what we know ourselves, must be learned through experience, trial and error and personal choices.  So as a parent I'm put in this position that gives me the freedom and authority to speak truth into my girls, but also requires me to let go of trying to control each situation in order to make it as impactful as I think it should be.

Now, before you write me off as a completely neurotic mom with serious control issues...please read on (because you may be right, but I am learning!)

Finding ways to play with my girls is something that the Father has been challenging me with lately.  I know the value of play.  I have experienced the benefits of play.  Play is something I want to do more with my girls.

Play allows my girls to see me in a different light.  It allows us to bond differently than a "parent moment" might.  It speaks love to my girls without using words.  It brings joy.

Even as I write these words, I'm asking myself why aren't we playing more?  Why is it so easy for this mom role to suck me into acting so serious all the time?  Why do I assume I should be the one watching instead of joining in?

I know there are days when I'm just tired and weary from being the mom that I forget to let loose sometimes.  There are days when my interactions with the girls feel incredibly intentional, or challenging and I just want to sit back, let them play, and breathe in the space.  I think that's ok.

But somewhere in the in between, I lose that part of myself that loves to be crazy, that loves to laugh, and is desiring more joy.  I know the Father created me to be full of energy and life with a laugh that can be heard across the room.  I want my girls to know this part of me as much as any other part.

This summer has given us the opportunity to play together.  The down time, the flexible schedule, the summer weather, it calls me to play.

I also know I don't want to have to rely on the stars perfectly aligning in order to engage my kids in this way.  I want to find ways to make play happen.  I want to be aware of those times when I'm just watching, and choose to jump in more often.  I am committed to listening more closely to the Father's whispers as He cues me in to those moments when I need to let go and simply become a part of what is happening around me.

As the school year approaches, I know it could be a challenge.  Once we get into the "routine" days get filled up, energy is spent keeping everyone on task, bedtime comes quick and so does the morning.  But I refuse to forget what I am learning. 

I will choose to play, I will choose to let loose, I will choose to laugh, I will choose joy!

To My Girls -- My hope is that you will not just remember the "life lessons" I have taught you, but that you will also remember just being together, playing together, laughing together.  I love watching you do all of these things, but would be sad to think about missing out just because I chose not to join in. Thank you for inviting me into your play.  Thanks for making me feel loved by your squeals of delight when I do join in.  And most of all, thanks for your patience as this momma learns and grows right along with you!

Conversations... (Part 2)

I love a good plan.  I'm not exceptionally organized, or obsessively clean.  I feel like I have the ability to be fairly flexible.  But overall, I love a good plan.  I love the feeling of being prepared.  I will make lists in advance in order to avoid feeling stressed.

Really what it all boils down to is the fact that even more than loving a good plan, I like to be in control.  And feeling like I have a good plan, and am prepared for anything, makes me feel like I'm in control.

Being a Momma has taught me the value of being prepared, but it has also exposed my need for control.  Being a Surrendered Momma involves me continually being reminded that control is not what I need to be seeking.  Instead, my efforts are better spent finding ways to channel my energies into trusting the One who ultimately is in control.  Easier said than done!

For the last several months, Vaughn and I have been processing life, ministry, family, and relationships.  As our conversations are filled with "what if's", and "what is", as we express our hopes and fears, I immediately find myself working out a plan.

I should probably mention here, before I go on, that I'm a pretty good planner.  Just to give you an idea, I've been planning my own 40th birthday celebration for a year now.  It involves hosting my entire family (32 people to be exact) for an extended weekend in my home...but that's another blog post entirely.

So, when there are decisions to be made, choices to consider, and schedules to follow, a good plan seems necessary.  Considering the fact that life always seems to require decisions, choices and schedules, coming up with a plan often consumes my time.  No problem!

Except it is.

At least it's becoming a problem for me.  Because in my need for a plan, in my desire for a sense of control, I'm missing out on so much.

The other day as I walked along this path while we were in the mountains, I found myself looking down, choosing my steps carefully. 

And that's when I heard the Father say, "Look up..."  As I did, this is what I saw...

My heart stopped...my breath caught in my throat...immediately I felt emotional, why was I looking down, when I could've been looking at this?

The symbolism was not lost on me.

At that moment, I realized what the Father was saying to me.  In my effort to develop plans, and to pull of plans, I was missing out.

As I stared in awe at the work of our Creator, I was reminded of the fact that no matter how good of a planner I am, I serve the One who is the master planner.  In that, I have a choice.  I can either wrestle it out with the One I serve, trying my hardest to prove that I know better.  Or, I can simply look up and in doing so surrender my own plans in order to open myself up for the ultimate plan.

It sounds beautiful, doesn't it?

Ha!  Anyone knows surrendering and giving up any sense of control feels like a lot of things...beautiful is not one of them!  And it's not a lesson I'm learning quickly.  I feel like I've been around this bend a time or two...or a thousand.

But as hard as it is, there is always a physical response that I have to the truth of surrendering.  It's a relief, it's a deep sigh, a lowering of the shoulders, as I find hope once again in believing that I don't have to know.  I don't have to plan.  I don't have to control.

In surrendering, I also get to bear witness to the work of our Creator.

As much as I love planning, I hate missing out on something.  I'm learning that life is happening all around me, but I'm often missing it because I'm too busy trying to plan out our life.  Crazy, I know!

When a plan needs to be made, and that become priority, it's scary how quickly I can ignore, put off, get crabby, and assume that if everyone else had a brain, they would be helping with the plan as well!

I know you're all sad you don't live with me.

Lately, though, I've become aware of what I'm missing out on...being present, hearing my girls, asking good questions, relaxing enough to laugh and be silly.

Really, I'm missing out on joy.

This summer I've felt a lack of joy, and I'm fairly certain it comes as a result of grasping for some sense of control.  In an effort to attain the control I desire, I have found myself continually trying to create a master plan.  A plan that allows our family to function smoothly, a plan that gives us the opportunity to minister to others, a plan that builds relationships and keeps them.

I am always looking for the plan that gives me a sense of security, one that reassures me that I'm being the parent I need to be, the wife I need to be, the friend I want to be, the Jesus follower I'm called to be.

But this life doesn't work that way.  And on my good days I'm able to remind myself that this type of plan doesn't exist.

This is where I'm at right now.  I'm currently dying for a plan to make things feel less crazy.  I'm longing for a plan to give me a sense of control and security.  I'd even take a plan that just made sure I knew what we were having for dinner each evening (ok, that one I could probably work on).

However, today I'm choosing to surrender these longings.  I'm tired of missing out.  I'm sick of feeling anxious.  I want joy.  I'm ready to give the planning back to the One who is sovereign. 

It's funny how much easier it is to trust when I'm at the end of myself, when I no longer feel able to be the ultimate planner, when I'm desperate for hope and help.  It's sad that it takes all this to get me to this place.  I don't think the Father cares, though.  I'm fairly certain He's not surprised by it either.

Ultimately, I hear him saying the same thing to me, "I also don't want you to miss out.  Trust Me, surrender, and keep looking up.  You won't want to miss all that I've got planned."

To My Girls -- Remember that this life is about the journey.  Take the scenic route and keep your eyes up, always looking to the One who is in control.  Make the choice to surrender and trust.  Your heavenly Father is good.  He loves you and He has a plan for you.  Rest in knowing that you don't have to know it all, be it all, do it all.  Embrace what the day holds for you, finding joy in not having to be in control.

Conversations with Jesus (Part 1)

Way back in September of last year, the Lord gave me a word..."Remain".  Meeting me in a hard season of life, the Father called me to Him, reminding me of the importance of remaining in Him (John 15:4-5).  I clung to this word and His promise as I journeyed through a dark time.

I found hope in reminding myself to remain in the vine.  I desperately needed the life that was offered to me in my remaining.

Slowly, though, over time, life got in the way.  And I went from holding on to the vine with all my might, to slowly losing my grip.  Instead of remaining, I was coming and going as I pleased.  I became distracted by the details of my days, and filled my time with mindless activity.

The end of the school year arrived.  The girls embraced summer with open arms.  We packed up Vaughn's classroom, and celebrated the completion of his first year of teaching.

My mind hardly had time to anticipate the Pastor's Retreat Vaughn and I were scheduled to attend.  But as we pulled up to our meeting place, it slowly began to sink in.  When Vaughn told the man checking us in that we would be staying for four nights, my head began to spin.  Be still oh my heart!

I was looking at four days of spiritual renewal, time with my hubby, in breathtaking surroundings.  The Father was once again wooing me to Him.

The first morning we were there, we were given Psalm 23 for our meditation exercise.  We were encouraged to go out and walk for the first 30 minutes, noticing our surroundings along with what we were thinking and feeling.

Immediately I wanted to go to the water.  I love water.  I wanted to listen to it,  put my feet in it, look at it.  There is something about water that draws me.  But on this day I felt compelled to keep walking. 

As I continued to explore the grounds we were on, I rounded a corner to find an amazing green space...with poppies!  I have fallen in love with these flowers ever since we moved to Colorado.  The space was beautiful, so I sat down and began to read Psalm 23.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures..."

I could not go on.  It was not lost on me where I was sitting.  As I felt led away from the water that day, to the green space, I knew what the Lord was doing.  He was making me lie down in green pastures.

Typically, when I feel as though someone is trying to make me do something, I want to rear up a bit.  My pride kicks in and I convince myself that I know better.  It can be a very ugly thing.

On this morning, though, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of God's love in "making me lie down...".  I recognized His hand at work in bringing me to this place.  And slowly He reminded me of the word He had given me in September.

How had I forgotten?  When had I stopped?  What was more important or life giving that would keep me from continually inviting Jesus to speak into my days, my thoughts, my circumstances?

Before we were sent out on this exercise, we were encouraged to engage this time as an open conversation with Jesus.  So, that's what I did. 

Instead of slipping into shame, instead of scolding myself for forgetting, instead of convincing myself that I had not proven myself worthy of entering into the Father's presence and therefore robbing myself of time with Him.  I simply lifted my eyes up and asked, "What happened?"

Gently Jesus met me in the conversation.  He reminded me of how much I like to be in control.  He revealed to me my lack of patience.  He spoke to me of my pride and selfishness.

All the while, though, He was loving me.  A soft breeze cooled my face and it was as if His presence was being made known.  I felt the delight He was taking in visiting with me.  I wasn't being judged, or scolded.  I was being wooed.  Because that's the Jesus I'm learning to know.  One that draws me to Him with poppies, and His word, and His patience.

One that makes me lie down, not because He is controlling, but because He knows my soul deeply needs the life He has to offer.  Because He knows me better than I know myself, and He's willing to pursue me and wait for me all at the same time.

In this green pasture, I heard His voice...

"Remain in me and I will remain in you.  No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.  Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.  I am the vine and you are the branches.  Those who remain in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing."

To My Girls  -- There is nothing more important in this life than remaining in Christ.  May you find ways to invite Him into your daily walk, learning how to converse with Him along the way.  My prayer is that you find delight in discovering the ways you best connect with Jesus, without getting tangled up in the legalism of spiritual disciplines.  As you continually invite Jesus into the conversation, I have no doubt you will bear much fruit!

Learning To Measure Differently

Obedience and Faithfulness.  It's how my husband and I have come to measure "success".

We live in a culture that loves to measure...highest score, most points, how many followers we have or "likes" we get.  We are constantly assessing whether something is a success or a failure, good or better.

But when it comes to church planting...when it comes to living missionally, I'm fairly certain these types of measurements may very well kill us.

From the beginning, Vaughn has always said that he is not so much interested in planting a church, but instead in planting a mission...living the way of Jesus, in community.  Establishing rhythms of life that reflect the heart of God, and hoping that our neighbors, coworkers and friends will be drawn to this way of life, along with this person of Jesus, as we grow in our relationships with them.

It feels right.  It's our response to the call to love God and love others.  It asks of us obedience and faithfulness.

Played out perfectly, it seems like we would see lives transformed, witness hope being restored, and participate in deep relationships. (And that is what we'd love to point to when we're "measuring" how successful we've been)

But nothing is ever perfect, and this way of living is proving to be far more messy than we would have thought, leaving us with more questions than when we began.  To be honest, there are days when it feels down right discouraging.  Because if we're measuring in any other terms other than obedience and faithfulness, some days it very well feels like we're failing.

Sitting on the couch together, Vaughn turns to me and says, "So, what is so good about the Good News?"  It's a question he asks our church community often.  It's a question that seems obvious and easy to answer if you've been raised in the church...Jesus loves us unconditionally, died for our sins, and offers us life in Him through a relationship with him...duh!

But that's not what my husband is talking about.  When he asks this question, he's coming off of a conversation we've been having a lot these days.  If this news that we're offering is so good, why aren't more people embracing it for themselves?  Why is it so easy for people to support us in what we're doing, but not really be interested in it for themselves?

For the last four years, we have poured our efforts into engaging our neighborhood, trying to find ways to connect, to build relationship, to establish "community" amongst the people we live near.  Our desire is to live and love in a way that draws people to Jesus.  But what if people aren't looking for Jesus?  What if people aren't interested in Jesus?

William Nicholson writes, “Self-sufficiency is the enemy of salvation. If you are self-sufficient, you have no need of God. If you have no need of God, you do not seek Him. If you do not seek Him, you will not find Him.”

We are experiencing the truth of this.  And it's hard.  It has me wondering.  It feels overwhelming.

If I'm honest, at times, it feels like we're wasting our time.  What do you do when a need isn't recognized...when we live in a time that has many of us deceived into believing that we will find hope, purpose, even joy in something that we can pull off on our own?

When I get to this place, I'm always forced to go back to our terms of measurement.  Obedience and faithfulness.  Are we walking obediently?  Are we being faithful to what God has called us to?  I believe we are.

But there are days when this doesn't feel like enough.  There are days when my heart desires to see something tangible as a result of this way of living, when I long to be encouraged and inspired by what is happening around me.  I want to see lives transformed, dang it!

Is this selfish? Maybe. But I know my Father desires the same thing...even more than I do.

And so where does that leave us?

Here is where I share with you some amazingly insightful and inspiring thought...

But I don't have one.

I seriously am asking, "What does this mean?"  I'm trying to walk obediently and faithfully, while still acknowledging my feelings.  And in all reality, right now it feels hopeless in a lot of ways.

I do know that often times the Lord is working behind the scenes, moving in ways we might never know of.  I get that, and I'm ok with that.

But I can't deny the fact that there seems to be little need for what we've got to offer, and this weighs heavy on my heart.

So, that's where I'm at today.  Walking that line between hoping and holding on loosely.  Working hard to believe, while choosing to simply walk faithfully and obediently.

To My Girls -- May your hearts be captured by those times when you see Jesus at work.  Tuck these experiences into your heart, never forget them...return to them as you remember who God is.  Because there will be days when you feel overwhelmed, when you wonder why we do what we do and live the way we live, when so many others choose differently.  There will be days when your hearts cry out to see change in those you've come to love, as you desire more for them through a relationship with Jesus, but wonder if they will ever choose this for themselves.  Remember that your call is simply to walk obediently and faithfully to that which the Father has called you to.  Do this well, do this passionately, do this with all your heart.

Time Away

7 years ago, my husband began his seminary studies.  We had just moved to Colorado, and he was enrolled in a hybrid course through George Fox out of Portland.  We lived in a small townhouse where all four of our girls shared a room.

During this time, the Lord provided for us in ways beyond what we could've ever imagined.  One year into his studies, Vaughn landed a part-time job with a bank consulting business.  This job required Vaughn to travel one week out of every six.  It paid well, and worked with Vaughn's school schedule.

Who knew that it would also be an investment in our marriage 6 years later? 

This last week, we were finally able to cash in on the flyer miles and hotel points that Vaughn had acquired during the several years he worked for this company.  A trip that has been almost 3 years in the making...

And it couldn't have come at a better time!  Have I mentioned before (like a hundred times) that this last year has been a rough one?  A life changing one, one that we would not trade, but a rough one nonetheless.

So a trip to the ocean with my man was just what this heart needed.

We began breathing deeply and relaxing our shoulders the minute we got in the car to drive to the airport.  We talked, we held hands, we bought coffee, we smiled.

One morning we rented a tandem bike.  Tell me this doesn't scream tourist!  My husband is such a good sport.  When I told him this was the one thing I wanted to do aside from parking myself on the sand, he said he was game.  I'm fairly certain we were the ONLY couple doing this.  During the the three days we were there, I never saw another tandem bike. Ha!

We road along the Bay, we tackled this spiraling path (both up and down), we took turns being the one in the front (my time lasted all of 5 minutes...let's just say a close encounter with a tree cut my time short). 

And we laughed...oh my gosh how we laughed.  I'm certain we looked ridiculous at times (for at least 5 minutes of that time, for sure).  But we didn't care.  We took video of us riding along the marina, and because it was such a great shot I had Vaughn turn around and ride that strip three times in a row so I could get a good picture.  This man should get some kind of award for humoring me.

Another morning we got up and went for a walk/jog along this path.  Just beautiful!  As we talked about the girls, and ministry, and life, we soaked in the sun and each other.

And in the afternoons, we spent a little time in heaven.

I don't know what it is about the ocean...it does something to me.  The sound, the feel, the smell.  To be able to look out forever and see nothing but water.  To feel the soft sand on my feet, and the sun on my face.  To hear the waves, and smell the salt. 

I cried when we walked away from it on our last day.  No lie, real tears.

Every once in awhile during our time there I found myself thinking about the girls.  They inherited a love for the water from their momma.  I knew how much they would've loved to have been there with us.

I told this to Vaughn.

I fully expected him to agree with me.  After all, he had communicated that he was missing them a bit. (maybe even more than me)  Instead, though, he told me that he thought it was important for our girls to keep experiencing us doing things like this.  Showing them the value of investing in a marriage relationship.  Continuing to teach them through example what it looks like to make time for each other, to find ways to grow in our friendship (even after almost 19 years), and to never stop carving out space to play.

He's right.  And I love him for this.

To My Girls -- When I'm away from you, you are still with me.  I hear your squeals of excitement in opening the door to a hotel room.  I see your little bodies testing out the water and getting braver as you venture into the waves, while you older ones can't get your tanning oil on fast enough!:)  I know how much you would love the sand and get a kick out of the palm trees.  Know that my heart longs to experience a place like this with you someday!
     However, I also want you to know how important it is for Daddy and I to have this time together.  In order to love someone well, you must make time for that person.  You must make that person a priority.  Life can and will be hard.  Having someone to do life with is a gift.  My prayer is that the Father will bless each of you with a husband who loves you deeply and runs hard after Jesus.  When the time comes, know that you will never regret investing in this relationship.  Remember that communication is worth the vulnerability it sometimes requires.  Never forget that laughter draws you together.  And always cherish seeking the Father together.