Created in His Image

(Warning...this post is a bit long. Shocking to no one, I know!)

I love seasons........

Ok, that's a lie, I love summer and spring and fall (the warm part of fall that is).  Winter, I could do without.  Having said that, I'm fairly certain living through the winter is what makes me love the other seasons even more.

I guess that's kind of how it is with life.....we're always in a season of some sort, and often the hard ones make the easier ones so much more lovely, more comforting, more enjoyable.  This past fall has been a hard season at our house.  Actually, it's probably been the hardest season Vaughn and I have gone through in our entire 18 years of being married.  It's been brutal.....for so many reasons.  However, as time passes, I'm realizing the deep, intimate work that is being done in us through this hard season.

Despite wrestling, and floundering, and crying out and going numb during this season, I have also tried to listen.  And one thing I heard was that I have been living under a False Narrative.  Somewhere early along the road of longing to live a life that is pleasing to the Lord, I took the concept of "dying to self" and perverted it into something it was never meant to be.  What started out as a practice of putting others before myself in an effort to prove myself worthy to the Lord, slowly over time, morphed into disregarding my own self in most things, and in the end losing the ability to see value in my desires, passions, hopes and feelings.  I found a way to find my happiness in other people's happiness (not that this is always a bad thing), all in the name of earning something that was already mine!  Oiy....I cringe as I hear the dis-health in all of this!  Add to that being a mom of four little ones at the time, where sacrifice was the name of the game, and I was set up for the perfect storm!

Fast forward now to this fall where I found myself at home by myself for the first time in 15 years.  How is it possible that all my girls are in school already!?!?!  To say I felt undone by this new season is an understatement....hence the floundering.  As my husband started asking me questions like, "What is something you'd like to do?" and "What gets you excited?" I began to panic!

As I was given the opportunity to explore what my heart's desires might be, I ran into fear and shame.

What?!?!

Ok, fear I could understand....the unknown is always a little overwhelming for me. I kind of like to have a sense of control (I have been working on this, though!).  But shame?  What the what!??!?  I had no idea where this was coming from.

And so I pressed in...and tried to listen some more.  And the word that was spoken to me was, "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27) This word began to seep into my soul and take root.

I am created in the image of God.  I, Taryn, am created in His image....his beautiful, creative, unique, loving image.  If I am to always die to that, I am dishonoring the work of His hands.  Don't get me wrong, I fully believe that Jesus calls us to a life where we are asked to die to the things that keep us from living fully surrendered to Him.  

But I also know that His word says, "For we are God's handiwork (a.k.a. masterpiece), created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10) This truth reminds me that God created me on purpose, for a purpose.  The shame I felt in who I am is a direct lie from the enemy.  The truth is, my passions, desires and longings all stem out of who I am created to be.  My personality, my love for relationships and conversations, my dramatic ways and loud laugh are all a part of who God created me to be.  

What does it look like to live out of this truth?  My desire is to find out!  What might it look like for you?

To My Girls -- My prayer is that you embrace who God created you to be.  That you would find freedom in being you.  And that you would always know God's deep love for you.  May you find joy in pursuing the purpose He created you for!