How God Redeemed My iPhone (even though it didn't need redeeming)

Friends, I'm going to tell you right now, I am technologically challenged...and I'm only 39.

It's one thing for an "older" person to struggle with all the new phones, all the social media options and everything in between.  But I'm 39 for pete's sake!  I'm not that old! Just figuring out how to get this blog set up and going took heroic efforts, not from me (heck, I had NO idea what I was doing!), but from my husband, daughter, and a multitude of friends who so graciously walked me through the process (and continue to do so).

I'm sure it doesn't help the fact that I've always been a bit late to the game.  I got email and a cell phone around the same time...like 9 years ago.  If you think back 9 years ago, I was not only late to the game, but the game was over and a whole new one had started!

But you know what?  I didn't care!  And at that time, as we got ready to move away from our family and friends, I had my phone and email...what more did a girl need!?!? 

Let me just stop here and say this, I also sometimes struggle with change.  Once I got my phone, I didn't really want to upgrade.  I knew my phone...it was almost as if my phone knew me.  Me and my flip phone, well...we were handling anything that was coming our way, and we were doing a dang good job of it! (even if I didn't have texting!)

As the years passed, I did grow to understand (and appreciate) the importance of change when it came to phones.  Although, I'll still admit that it took me awhile to transition from texting on my number keypad, which I had gotten very good at I must say, to an actual keypad with letters (are there correct terms for these separate keypads!?!? Who knows!)

(I loved this phone!)

Anyways, it was a surprise to no one a year and a half ago when I gave my upgrade to my oldest daughter, so that she could get an iPhone.  It just made sense...with this crazy new phone she could text, have access to the internet, take pictures, and even call! (ok, the "call" part is pushing it..but she could if she wanted to!)

Teachers were even having their students use their phones in class.  Did I want her to fail high school as a result of my own selfishness?  Of course not! Plus, I really liked my slide phone...what more did I need? Along with this was the fact that I always felt like the whole smart phone thing seemed a bit "worldly" (yes, I did just say that....do not close out this post just yet, I'm coming back to this!). So, my daughter upgraded to an iPhone, and I stayed in my happy place.

Over time, though, my happy place became less and less happy.  If other people used emojis in their texts to me, it read like hieroglyphics on my phone and at random times my phone would be unable to download various messages.  Being the communicator that I am (only meaning that I love to communicate!), not being able to read the texts sent to me was becoming unacceptable!  And so it was time to upgrade (thank goodness we had an upgrade in the family!).

But what was this churning inside of me?

You know that comment I made about my feelings towards smart phones?  Well, those feelings returned.  Was I honestly going to dive into the world of being an iPhone owner?  What would that say about me? These phones, it's as if they're taking over the world...did I really want to be a part of that?  Wasn't it more noble to live "simply" (i.e. keep my outdated phone with zero capabilities to help me figure out where I am when I get lost while driving)?

As I sat with these questions and tried to process why I was experiencing such turmoil, I was able to come to the realization that all of these thoughts and questions were merely a cover up for what I was really feeling.......fear.

Not fear that I was going to make some kind of moral mistake.  Not fear that I was taking part in something that might be unpleasing to my Father.  Oh no, I realized I was simply wrestling with the intense fear that my brain just might explode while trying to figure out how to navigate through life with this piece of technology.  And I began to dread the time and effort it would take to figure it all out.

I also feared how stupid and insecure it might make me feel.  Oiy......the truth comes out.

(I don't even know how this picture got on here.  One of my girls did it.)

But friends, here is the GREAT part of this whole long, rambling, what seems to be meaningless story.  I am here to say that me getting an iPhone has been one of the greatest most blessed experiences of my life (ok, maybe a bit of an exaggeration) and here's why...this crazy phone has provided me numerous opportunities to connect with my two teenage daughters, and I don't mean via texts or calls.

For the last 15 years, I have been the "teacher", the "expert".  I have played a major role in helping my daughters "figure it out".  But as they get older, they are figuring out how to learn on their own and they are needing me less.  This new season has left me floundering a bit.  I am so used to pouring into my daughters.  But now, I'm learning how to simply make myself available and wait for them to come to me.  It feels very foreign.  I need to find new ways to connect, but what does that look like....

I realize, at times, it just might look like reversing roles.  And my new phone has allowed me to do just that!  Being as severely challenged as I am in the area of technology/social media, I have needed my girls more times than not in the last three weeks.  But now it's my daughters that are teaching me, and I am looking at them with wide eyes of confusion.  They are the ones saying, "I've shown you this already, remember?" and I am the one saying, "Oh yeah, I forgot." (insert sheepish grin)

I can't tell you how much fun I had sitting on the couch with my oldest daughter and her friend as they walked me through what all the emojis meant.  How do people know these things!?!?  Or how hard we laughed as we sat across the living room sending random snapchats to each other.  My girls even took the opportunity to give me a lesson on how to take a good selfie...did you know that your supposed to cut off part of your face sometimes?!?  I had no idea!

(our first group selfie)

I also learned how powerful it can be to allow our children the experience of being the "teacher",  that few things break down walls like laughing at ourselves and putting our kiddos in the role of feeling needed, and that twitter is something that I'm not sure I'll ever fully understand.

So for now, I'm just going to try to embrace this new season.  Vaughn and I continue to pray that the Father might give us wisdom and insight as we parent.  I by no means feel equipped to walk my girls through their teenage years in the world that we live in, but I don't have to.  I serve a God who promises to help me in all things.  And what a creative God he is.  Who would've thought that He might use an iPhone to answer a few of my prayers!

To My Girls -- Thank you, girls, for doing your part to keep me a semi-hip mom.  Ok, maybe just a mom that's not completely out of it!:) Thank you for laughing with me (because I'm certain you are not laughing at me!).  Thank you for your random snapchats, for humoring me by laughing at my emoji use, and for still rescuing me with my technology questions.  Most of all, thanks for letting me be your mom.