The No-Screen Challenge

Confession...I don't feel like a very creative mom.

It's just not one of my strengths.  Growing up, I remember my sister always getting out the craft supplies and "creating".  I never had the desire to join her.

I really just wanted to play pretend.  And some might say that is it's own creative, but really I just wanted to be in relationship in whatever way I could (even if it was a make believe relationship).

Once I became a mom, nothing changed really.  From day one I dreamt about my babies growing up and being old enough to interact with me, to have conversations and be in relationship with me.  I pictured us experiencing life together, but rarely did I picture us being creative together.

So, you can only imagine the tick I immediately developed when my 7 year old came home from school talking nonstop about a 4 day no-screen challenge.

Now, before you judge, let me reassure you that I am not the type of mom that gives my children limitless access to screens.  My children read daily.  We eat dinner together as a family with a no-screens policy.  My youngest two often disappear for long periods of time, getting caught up in creating their own stories through role play and pretend.

Just the other day the two of them created this little piece of something or other by finger knitting.  What is finger knitting you might say?  I have no idea!  It's something they learned at school.  You can see the end product below.  Looks pretty cool, right?

What do I do with this?  I have no doubt there are mothers out there that could take this and turn it into something quirky and whimsical...and if I saw it I would think "I love that, I want that in my home!"

Right now this is sitting in my trash can.  I could only take it laying around my house for so many days!

Ok, back to what I was saying...why the tick, you ask?  Why the sinking feeling in my stomach that these might be the longest 4 days of my life? (Oh I hadn't shared the sinking feeling part with you?)

To be honest, I don't really know.  Maybe it's because there are certain times of day when screens seem kind of helpful to me.  Those times when I just need everyone to be occupied while I have an uninterrupted conversation with Vaughn.   Those times when I'm making supper, fielding homework questions, and answering my phone all at the same time.  If during those times one of my little ones is quietly on a computer somewhere, I'm not complaining.

And as long as we're talking about this, I kind of like our morning routine which includes the littles waking up and coming downstairs as I finish up on the treadmill.  Is the TV on? Yes...but is it ok to feel like we kind of bond during this time as we catch up on The Biggest Loser, or Project Runway?

I'll admit my reaction was primarily selfish.  In and of itself the fact that my daughter wanted to take this no-screen challenge made me proud.  I loved the thought of her stimulating her brain in more creative ways.  I just dreaded the possibility of it meaning that I might be hearing the phrase, "What can I do?" every other minute for the next four days.

When I hear that question, something happens inside me.  I feel as though I should be able to make suggestions or provide the materials for my children to create, to craft, to find their inner artist.  But the only words that consistently come out of my mouth are, "You could color."  Due to this being my go to, I'm pretty sure I burnt my kids out on coloring by age 3!

But the day arrived and the challenge was accepted.  As the first afternoon was upon us, Aleah began thinking about things she could do.  At that moment something of the Holy Spirit nature came over me and out of my mouth came the words, "You could write a story."

I don't know why I said it...probably because the only materials it required was paper and pencil, and I knew we had those things.  Must I remind you that creativity is not my strong suit!

It doesn't really matter, though, because she agreed and immediately set herself up to start writing.

Half an hour later, she presented me with a story about our camping trip we took this summer.  A story that involved me wading into freezing cold water, doing everything I could to free up a lily pad that had the most beautiful flower on top of it.  A flower that had caught Aleah's eye.  A flower she felt she could not live without.  I had almost forgotten about this.

The next morning I was on my treadmill.  Like usual, Aleah came wondering down, sleepy eyed having just woken up.  The TV was on and she immediately went into the office to practice piano.  By the time she was done I still had 20 minutes to go and I really did not want to have to turn the TV off.  (It's all I can do to keep my mind off of what I'm doing on the treadmill)

I immediately got distracted by what I was watching (which is the whole point), but after 5 or so minutes I looked over and realized that Aleah was alphabetizing all of our DVDs by title.  She had them lined up across the floor and was working her way through the G's. 

By this time, the educator in me was being revived.  As we talked about what to do when the first two letters of two different titles were the same, I found myself smiling.  Few things compare to watching your child grasp a concept.

That's when the realization hit me.  I'm living in two different worlds.  I have two teenagers in the house.  In a previous blog I mentioned what this looks like, having to take a step back, having to simply be available when needed, learning to let them begin to step out on their own at times.  In this scenario, you can get lulled into thinking everyone is doing well because everyone can take care of themselves.

But I still have two kiddos in elementary school too.  And this is not the case for them.  They are at a very different stage, a stage that requires me to remember what it was like when my first two were this age.  A stage that involves, whether I like it or not, a bit more creative thinking.

I know it's not my strength, but I'm slowly remembering that there were days with my oldest two when I pressed in and channeled the spirits of all things creative.  I'm fairly certain we may even have some home video footage documenting such days, which may or may not include someone wearing a beak and someone wearing an eye patch holding a large knife. (I told you my creativity was questionable) I never regretted those days.

All that to say, my eye has recovered and the tick is gone.  We have one more day to go in the challenge, and I couldn't be more proud of myself, I mean Aleah.  Sometimes on this journey we need wake up calls, or reminders, or just a small kick in the tush to help make us our best.  The no-screen challenge did that for me and I'm eternally grateful!

My two youngest

To My Girls -- I am always in awe when I see you expressing yourselves creatively.  My prayer is that you will find ways to access this part of you, with and without my help!:)  Thank you for challenging me to be a better mom in this area.